Ireland, The Republic Of

Ireland was somehow exactly how I’d imagined it, Bernard Blacks and leprechauns all over the shop. Everywhere but Dublin was ridiculously green, Dublin being more of a greyish colour. But Dublin gave me my favourite Irish experience: Chinese food served the Irish way (with chips instead of rice) with the fabulous Sarah, an authentic Irish redhead and everything.

Dublin itself was quite a decent city. It was full to the brim with Oscar Wilde stuff, just as it should be. I really enjoyed wandering through Trinity College – home to the Hogwarts Great Hall! – and the cathedral district. So many cathedrals. My favourites were St Patrick’s Cathedral, with its Jonathon Swift memorial, and Christchurch Cathedral, for the cat that almost gave me a heart attack by stalking my tuna sandwich.

The next day marked the start of my five-day Shamrocker tour of Ireland’s south and west coasts. The bus was 75% Australian: great people, fun times. We left Dublin and headed into the (green, green) countryside, making a stop at Blarney Castle for the obligatory kissing of the Blarney Stone. Apparently, being groped by an old man as he suspends you over a chasm at the top of a castle in order to kiss a stone gives you the ‘gift of the gab’. You'll have to judge.

The Blarney grounds were incredible. I climbed the Wishing Stairs backwards with my eyes closed as instructed, visited the Druids’ Circle, took a wander through the Poison Garden – very cool but concerning – and generally enjoyed myself. Meanwhile, one of the guys on our tour asked his girlfriend to marry him, which was incredibly sweet.

Also, it was Halloween, leading to surprises like this in the castle:

We spent the night in the town of Killarney, where I enjoyed some proper Irish stew – delicious – and watched Pa the Storyteller perform in a small room above a pub. He was phenomenal. He drank a total of six pints of Guinness and a couple of shots of Jamieson whiskey as part of the performance. Mad. And he gave me a free cd of songs he’d recorded in his youth, so he was pretty all right.

A note on Guinness: it tastes like vegemite minus the salt. And the correct way to drink it is in three mouthfuls, to prevent it from settling and tasting awful.

I stuck to cider.

Day two took us to the Dingle Peninsula, land of incredible views and coastline. We passed through the hometown of Jack Duggan, ‘The Wild Colonial Boy’, and, more excitingly, a man who shares his name with our street. We made a stop at Coumeennole Beach, where several of our group waded into the sea and hence lost bits of their souls according to legend. I was wearing tights, and so preserved my soul. We spent the night in Ennis.

Day three delivered the highlight of the tour: the Cliffs of Moher, otherwise known as the Cliffs of Insanity from the Princess Bride, or the Cliff Entrance To The Cave Where Dumbledore Drank The Poison And It Was Creepy.

The views were spectacular. We were almost blown off our feet as we looked out over the Atlantic Ocean.

Next (or maybe before... Eh, Irish time!) we headed out to the Burren, this stretch of rubbly stone hosting the occasional dolmen. It was all very grey and eerie.

We hopped back in the bus and made a brief stop at a fairy circle, having heard all about the fascinating Celtic legends of fairies, leprechauns and general superstition. It was like something out of Enid Blyton. Abiding by the strict warnings of our guide, Carol, nobody stepped into the fairy circle, hence averting tragedy and bad luck.

We stopped for the night in Galway, Dublin’s ‘funky sister city’, and made a tour of several pubs, all of which featured live traditional Irish music.

We spent day four back on the bus, exploring Connemara’s beaches, mountains and peat bogs. It was fantastic to learn more about Irish history while visiting the National Famine Memorial. We heard some fascinating, tragic stories about the famine.

One of the best things we saw in Connemara was a statue outside a little town marked by a rather curious sign: “The Connemara Giant – late 20^th c: antiquity.” The statue itself bore a plaque stating, “Built in 1999 for no apparent reason.” Brilliant.

The next day marked the end of the tour, so after taking a guided walk through Galway in the morning, we all got back on the bus and listened to Carol’s very thorough explanation of the current Irish situation.

All in all, it was a great use of my reading week. I still can’t believe how very Irish the whole thing was. And Sarah, the London offer still stands!