Brussels & Bruges, Belgium

We flew into Brussels in the evening, and spent a good deal of time hiking through the airport. I swear we walked a good three kilometres to that train station. Once in town, we broke our hostel curse and found it very easily. Its proximity to a Godiva chocolate factory was the best thing about it. I have never seen such scummy showers, but I was determined to get my euro’s worth out of that towel. We had pizza for dinner, and I tried a bright red cherry-flavoured beer called kriek: yum!

Next morning, armed with our hilarious Brussels tourist map – “Brussels is ugly and we love it” – we made a beeline for the Comics Museum.

It was all in French and Dutch, and bursting with comics we’d never heard of, but we loved the Tintin and Smurfs’ stuff. Sadly we didn’t have enough time to make use of the comics library, but we definitely popped into the gift shop.

We then headed further into town, and began our Great Belgian Disgrace by eating two waffles each within the space of ten minutes. Best lunch ever. The Mannequin Pis was just as teeny-tiny and bizarre as everyone had said.

We walked some more, discovering a street of fantastic pokey vintage shops and the Mannequin Pis’ dog, also pissing. As Obelix would say, these Belgians are crazy. I kind of loved the wacky humour.

Another great thing about Brussels was the street art.

After grabbing our stuff from the hostel, we left Brussels on a train for Bruges. After a long, long walk through the gorgeous town – freaking cobblestones as far as the eye could see; not good for a wheely bag – we found the nice little house where we would be staying with Jess and Brigette.

Despite Mel’s protests, I dragged her out into the gathering darkness and had a brief look at the Town Markt, the main city square. Bruges persisted in being extremely, extremely pretty. We then made a proper Russian Christmas dinner. Well, it had fish in it. Yes, it was tuna macaroni, but it’s the thought that counts. We then watched In Bruges in towels while washing our clothes and waiting for the others to arrive. And Mel explicitly told me not to use this next photo:

Saturday (Christmas!) brought more waffles and fun Bruges times with Jess and Brigette. We spent the morning walking around town, visiting two churches, one of which contained a Michaelangelo statue, and the other a vial of Jesus’ congealed blood. We each paid for the privilege of touching the vial – quite a fitting Christmas activity.

We then bought chocolates (so many chocolates), and Jess bought a couple of pieces of traditional Belgian lace. Our gastronomic experience continued back at the Town Markt, where we compared the chips sold by the two chip-sellers outside the Belfry. The one on the right was better. And then we ate another waffle. Stop judging me.

To counteract the Belgian food, Jess and I climbed the 366 narrow, narrow stairs to the top of the Belfry. It was a strange experience, having watched someone toss himself from the top just the night before (In Bruges). We reached the bell tower right on the hour, and had to cover our ears from the lengthy clanging of the bells. LOUD. Great views.

We met the others back at the house, then left poor injured Brigette at home for a bath while we went off for a twilight tour of the town. Everything was, unsurprisingly, just gorgeous. Bruges is the most ridiculously good-looking town I’ve ever visited. According to the tour guide, the white swans in the canal are a permanent feature for a very good reason: Bruges is cursed to ruin/doom should the canals become swanless. Apparently, this curse has caused considerable trouble for the locals, as the swans regularly seem determined to up and die.

After the tour, we went home for some much-needed warmth and had a lovely healthy dinner – cold meats and bread, and even some green stuff. There was chocolate and kriek and gingerbread for all.

The next day – our last! – had a very relaxed start when we wandered into town and discovered that nothing opened until 11am. With nothing else to do, we returned to the chocolate shops: quelle horreur. Mel and I bought chocolate asparagus and a bottle of kriek ‘for later’. We eventually managed to find breakfast waffles, then had another round, then lolled about until we could wobble our way out of the café. Mel and I went and hired bikes while the other two took a bus tour of Bruges.

We biked around the town perimeter – unbelievably beautiful! the windmills! the sunshine! the smug couples! – having a fantastic time. It was glorious. Best part of the trip. We even popped into H&M. Well, I popped into H&M; Mel guarded my bike.

We met the others at the Town Markt outside the Belfry and returned home to collect our stuff. Oh yes, and then we finally found the cutlery after I’d eaten a bowl of soup with my hands. Hurray. It was in the very first place Jess suggested.

We left at 3:30pm to make our (long) way back to the train station. Back to London! A bientôt, mes gauffres! R.I.P., purple handbag.